What ha-had happened was...

(Natural) Girl is my type...

Anne's Friend: What's your type of girl?
E: Natural girl.
Anne: Natural? I thought you didn't mind fake boobage.
E: Oh, no, I meant natural as in born a girl. Hey, I live in SF, so I have specify!
Anne: Hahaha
Anne's Friend: Hahaha, you silly boy!

2007.11.12

Super thin is his type...

Dave: You should see my new girlfriend. She's thinner than Susan, my ex
E: Wasn't Susan something like 5' and 90-something pounds?!
Dave: Yep.
E: And this new girl is smaller/thinner?
Dave: Skillzzz!!!

2007.07.31

Ah, the fine print...

E: Wow, two of those phones for $100 is a pretty sweet deal
E: Oh, wait. It's only for new customers. Crap.
E: The big print giveth, the small print taketh away...
Ann: Awww hahahah

2007.06.02

One or two ladders?

Amy: Do you have one or two ladders?
E: Haven't we talked about this before? I have two, yo!
Amy: So, is someone like Lisa in your "f*ck" ladder or "friend" ladder?
E: Friend ladder
Amy: Really? So you wouldn't do it with her?
E: Nope
Amy: How about for like, $100,000?
E: Oh, I don't have that kind of liquid money
Amy: Hahahahahah
E:

2007.05.30

Is Blockbuster Online for you? Maybe not...

Zach: dood i just went on my blockbuster online
Zach: ive had the same dvds since september 26th
Zach: watch how these old ass sleeves mail to some ancient address no longer their processing center

2007.05.28

You don't settle with the rebound, much less marry it!

Ricardo: You don't marry your rebound...
E: Yeah, you don't slam dunk the rebound...
Ricardo: You gotta pass it around...
E: Exactly, you gotta check it before you take it back to the hoop!

2007.04.20

Nothing I can do about my offending looks. Well...

E: When I was younger and I met parents they didn't like me.
E: I think most of that had to do with my appearance back then.
E: Actually, I still have a bit of a look about me that some people don't like because it reminds them of gangsters. Nothing I can do about that.
E: Well, except maybe shave my goat-t. And, cut my tail. And, smile a bit more.
E: F*ck...hahahahahhaha

2007.04.17

If you're gonna wear a 1-piece swimsuit, which piece do you wear - top or bottom?

Frances: Ahhhh, I'm not ready for Cancun.
Lin: Hehe
E: Eh? Why not?
Frances: I can't find a swimsuit that fits me right.
E: Oh, just buy a 1-piece.
Lin: Hahaha
Frances: Ahhhh hate you, pap!
E: Whaaa, what?
Lin: Hahaha
E: I didn't say which piece. Which one would you get? Bottom or top?
Lin: Hahaha
Frances:

2007.04.13

Living alone or with roomies?

David: I think you should live alone at some point. You'll learn a lot about yourself that way.
E: I'm already alone up here (pointing to my head). I don't need to be alone out here (pointing to surroundings)
David: Hahaha
E:

2007.04.05

Does alkie have too many calories? Maybe not...

Thinh: this is all YOU
Thinh: but not me
Thinh: http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=nutrition&category=food.for.fitness&conitem=6e53a9f3340dc010VgnVCM10000013281eac
E: Heheh
E: I no longer look at my calorie intake
E: Well, I don't count...just am sort of careful
E: I need to cut a few more things from my diet and insert some and I'll be cool
E: Cut things like alcohol
E: But, it's hard...I'm sipping on a vodka cran right now
E: Maybe after this one
E: Hahaha
Thinh: HAHAHAHAHA
Thinh: now that's funny

2007.04.01

We be exponential whores!

E: The other day, a friend was telling me about this rule of thumb about the number sexual partners and your age.
Mike: Huh?
E: Basically, if your number of sexual partners is more than half your age, you're a whore.
Mike: Hahaha
Mike: ...so does that make me a double whore?
E: Actually, I think it grows exponentially, so it would make you a whore squared!
Mike: Holy sh*t! hahah...that makes you a whore cubed!
E: Hahahah

2007.03.27

What we talking about?

E: It's so nice to log in and not have that many emails
Thinh: thanks
E: You're welcome
E: (What we talking about?)
Thinh: i don't know
Thinh: hahah
E: Hahaha

2007.03.18

Am I sending mixed messages?

Amy: Your tail says "don't f*ck with me!", but your cashmere coat says "come take my fat wallet!"
E: Hahaha

2007.02.21

No pink meat!

E: I don't like pink meat.
All: [collective silence]
E: That I eat!
Lin & Frances: Hahaha
E: For food!
Lin & Frances: Hahaha
E:

2007.01.17

Hungry at 5am, but no food around.

E: I'm hungry
Thinh: i'm getting hungry too!!!
E: I have nothing but corn nuts and candy, though
Thinh: i think i'm gonna try to sleep before i get hungrier
Thinh: sleep on it!
E: haha...corn nuts it is

2007.01.14

Should I get an iPhone? Well, that's if it comes out...

Thinh: if it's qwerty..
Thinh: then it's good for u
E: Yup
E: It better slide out...and a touch screen
E: And give me bjs on the spot
E: Cause you know it's gonna cost >$400
Thinh: hahaha

2007.01.08

Tessa knows what she wants.

Tessa: I'd f*ck a firefighter, but I wouldn't marry one.

2006.12.18

Thinh's getting his own bowling ball.

Thinh: u know
Thinh: i'm gonna get a [bowling] ball next week
Thinh: my bro's ball hurts my hand
E: isht!
Thinh: and the house balls suck
E: Baller
E: Literally
E: Hahaha
Thinh: lol

2006.12.15

Eyes in eyes.

E: She's unique. She's nice...and her eyes are amazing in my, hmm, eyes

2006.12.12

What drunkenness will do for yah.

Thinh: I'm gonna be drunk anyway, so it's okay.

2006.12.04

My best...

E: I'll do my best.
Ann: Churchill once said something like.."Sometimes it is not enough to our best; we must do what is required."
E: "Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them."
E:
Ann: Haha

2006.11.28

The waitress...

Billie: Who's our waitress?
Jackie: The lady that brought our food and stuff

2006.11.26

All women need my lovin'.

Noelia: How are the sf hynas?
E: Too proper for my taste
Noelia: You need slutty hynas I know
E: Well, sluts need loving, too!
E:

2006.11.18

Love for women.

Mike Robles: I love women. I love all women. My heart belongs to one, but I have sperm for the rest.

2006.11.17

Thinh talking about some drama with one of his ladies.

Thinh: that'd be funny if [her ex-boyfriend] comes to [my birthday party]
Thinh: hahahaha
E: At least you'll have a lot of people there to protect your ass
Thinh: uhh
Thinh: hahahah
E: I mean, not me, but you know, other guys
E: Hahaha
Thinh: HAHAHAHA

2006.11.15

Me and my futile attempt to find an old college acquaintance.

E: I can't find this girl anywhere.
E: I wouldn't make a good stalker.
Jacque: Maybe that's a good thing...
Jacque: Hahaha...
E: Hahah...I guess so.

2006.11.13

I need to prepare for all games.

E: Maybe I should take a nap before the [Cal football] game starts.
E: Haha...preparing myself like I'm gonna play in the game or something.
Thinh: HAHAHAHA

2006.11.04

Taking time for a vacation.

Yuko: once i start working, i dont have time
Yuko: once i stop working, i dont have money
E: Ain't that the sorry truth?! Preach on, sistah!

2006.10.30

Talking about marriage.

analogika: Women marry men for their potential.
analogika: Men marry women for what they are.
analogika: But, the problem is that women change, and men don't.

2006.10.28

Thinh talking about getting Lakers season tix.

E: You want [Lakers] season tix????
E: What a pimp!
E: That's true pimp status right there
Thinh: yea
Thinh: i'd buy season tix
Thinh: next yr baby
E: Well, when you're Thinh Tran you're continuously on "pimp status"
Thinh: true ture
Thinh: true ture
E: HAHAH

2006.10.26

Mike talking about a new watch I have.

Mike: That looks HUGE!
E: That's cause it is huge.
Mike: Does your body lean left now?
Mike: I bet your left hand will be as strong as your right hand in no time - if you know what I mean.
E: Haha, whatever, bitch.

2006.10.24

Mike discussing NorCal women.

Mike: Oh, wow, what's that?!
E: What?
Mike: That! There! On her tummy...what is that?!
E: Hmm...I don't see anything.
Mike: It's coming out of her shirt...
E: Uhhh, that's just her tummy, dude.
Mike: Eh?! Is she preggers?
E: I don't think so. I think it's just her.
Mike: Whoa! Never seen one of those before. It's literally spilling out of her pants and tearing through her shirt.
E: Haha. Call me crazy, but I think it's just fat. You act like you've never seen fat before.
Mike: Not in the flesh like that. That's just wrong. Someone should go tell her to put that away.
E: I don't think that should be either of us. Look! Over there: hot girl.
Mike: Oooh. I bet you she's from out of town. I'm gonna go find out; maybe she's from SoCal, too.

2006.09.23

My desire to go out on weekdays after moving to SF has changed a bit.

E: I figured out that after moving to SF my desire to go out on weekdays is directly proportional to how far I have parked my car from my place, i.e., the farther my car from my place, the more I want to go out so that when I come back I can park it closer, even if it has to be the next morning
E: It's also inversely proportional to how soon I have to move it because of street cleaning, e.g., if it's parked on a Wednesday cleaning curb, I'm for sure going out on Tuesday night.
Mike: Haha...makes sense to me.
E: ...after Gilmore Girls, though.
Mike: HAHAHA...you're such a girl.
E:

2006.09.20

Uncomfortably, riding a very, very crowded bus.

E: You look terribly uncomfortable sitting there. Would you like to stand right where I am and I'll take your uncomfortable seat?
Girl on bus: Haha, I'm okay. Thanks.
E: All right, let me know if you change your mind. I'll be right here.
Girl on bus: Haha, okay.

2006.09.20

Is this how European people see me? Or how people in North Beach see me? Probably both.

English dude: You wear $30 shoes, $20 pants and a $10 t-shirt, but carry around a $200 bag? It's like you're pretending to be someone else!
E: Listen. IAN or whatever your name is. Just because I choose to spend my money on pretty bags and prostitutes instead of polo shirts and loafers like you do, it doesn't mean I'm pretending to be someone I'm not.
Frenchie: Prostitutes?

2006.09.16

I was in Kendra's pants.

E: Yes, the rumors are indeed true: Last night, at about midnight-thirty, I was in Kendra's pants. I wish I could say she had to beg or that at least I played hard to get, but the honest truth is that she hadn't finished asking when I was already unbuckling my pants. Lastly, let me remove all doubt by saying that it was indeed glorious.

2006.08.25

A farewell poem from Ashlea, my SAIC "wife":

May the goose still fly when your skies are gray
May "college night" be every day.
May your umbrellas be used for girly drinks
and raindrops fall only when you sleep.

May you always find a way to "make it work"
in your amazing way to get things done
And if you do ever misspeak,
Use the same excuse as always
"Sorry - English is not my native tongue".

Though your life is full of many colors,
May you find more in the food you eat
And expand your diet beyond red and green
From Red Vines and MTD.

May you never forget the value of the potato
And its unassuming ways
Or the friends you leave behind
From your good ol' SAIC days.

2006.08.16

Me talking about leaving San Diego.

E: In the end, the motherland will always be home, LA my home away from home, the Bay Area will pay the bills, but SD will always be my mistress. And, kids, you always have more fun with your mistress.

2006.08.08

Ashlea's parting words before she moved away.

Ashlea: I'd give you the world if I could, but instead you get a cheap freebie gift.
E: Hahaha...so kind of you
E:

2006.07.12

Wearing glasses for the first time.

Robin: You wear glasses? I didn't know that.
E: I don't; I just want to look smart today.
Robin: Oh, I think it's working.
E: Superlative.
Robin: Haha...

2006.07.10

"Jake" is short for something?

E: Oh. I didn't know "Jake" was short for "Jacob". I thought it was just, you know, "Jake".
Ash: Hahaha..no, no.
E: Well, I don't know these things. I wasn't born here! Back where I'm from everyone is called "Jose" and we don't go around calling them "Jos" or "Jo" if you know what I mean.
Ash: HAHAHA
E:

2006.03.20

What my iTunes is playing.

E: Listening to: Thinh & His Girltoys - Making Babies [0 hours: 0 mins: 12 secs]

2006.01.22

My aim...

E: I aim to please.
Rachael: Aim low
E: Hehe

2005.02.07

FL's bad luck.

E: That's horrible. I guess when it rains it pours.
pandie: yes, then, if you live in FL, a tree falls on your house
E: Haha...I mean, sorry, that's so sad.

2004.10.02

I've grown some!

StarC: hey, what are you up to?
E: Yo, just got out of the shower.
E: Guess what...
StarC: ?
E: I grew an inch in the last year or so.
StarC: ooh-la-la!
E: Yeah, I was pretty excited, too.
E: Hmm...wait. I meant in height.
StarC: awwww
E:

2004.03.16

Me talking about tough love.

StaCy: You're a dick, 'tis all
E: That's not true. Besides, I love all people. But, you know, like they say, regretfully, some need tough love.
StaCy: No, you're just a natural grade-A dick
E: O.o
E: Eh, actually, you may be right.
StaCy:

2003.10.08

How do you like your pancakes?

E: I like my pancakes golden brown.
Thinh: I like mine yellow.
E: Golden brown.
Thinh: Yellow.
E: Golden brown...I don't think we're talking about pancakes anymore...haha
Thinh: Hahaha...

Circa 2000

Me talking about how men never stop looking for their lobster...or just a shag.

E: My liver hurts, but we stop looking the day we die.

1997.01.20